下面为大家整理一篇 的essay代写范文 -- Communication is the key to parenting，文章讲述沟通是人与人之间的桥梁，在各种关系中起着重要作用。它将人，社会乃至 联系在一起。开展交流时，它总是可以反映出各种文化和不同的想法。交流的方式很多，例如对话，书写甚至手势，眼神交流都可以表达自己的感受和心情。因此，反映少数群体社会的家庭应更多地关注交流，因为家庭中存在着各种个性各异的人。

 

Communication is the key to parenting

Communication is a bridge between people and plays a significant role in various relationships. It connects people, societies and even nations. It can always reflect various culture and different ideas, when communication is launching. There are loads of ways to communicate, such as dialogue, writing or even a gesture and an eye contact can express one’s feelings and moods. Thus, family, which is a reflection of minor society, should lay more focus on communication, as it exists various people with various personalities in a family. Although they are connected by blood and sensations, communication is needed. Parenting is a life-long lesson for all. Mother-child communication, father-child communication and wife-husband communication are three important modes, in which parent-child communication supports the whole family and is the key to keeping a lovely and peaceful atmosphere within a family. However, the current society forces people to do what is fast and efficient, requiring less talking and communications, because of their wasting of time and energy, thus, this kind of less-communication way of handling problems, especially those in families, disturbs the normal way of tackling troubles and silence or, what’s more, violence appear much more frequently in a family.

 

Amy Tan, an author who is immigrant to America, confusing about her double identities, has a typically Chinese mother: a mother full of hope for her daughter and beliefs in strict methods of teaching could set a higher stage for her daughter. Thus she pushed her daughter so hard. To express this kind of teaching method and what kind of opinions Amy Tan herself holds, she wrote a fiction based on her own experiences, named The Joy Luck Club. The character, June, was fictional but lived the life which was similar to Amy herself. No matter the child is Amy or June, or someone else, they are all influenced and controlled by their Chinese parents. Maybe the biggest and apparent distinct is the way they reflect to their mother. Some of them may be willing to be puppets, while others ask for their freedom. The former is more relatively popular in Chinese families and the latter is equal to bad kids.

 

Admittedly, hope for children stemming from parents is understandable, especially from Chinese perspective. Parents from China during 1950s and 1960s suffered a lot and had no books to read, not to mention other breeding relating to art. Piano, violin, painting and dancing are remote and strange to them. As they are aged, it is impossible to retake lessons and educate themselves. For one thing, their shoulders are burdened with responsibilities and duties, no matter to themselves or to their families, they are always busy with work and money; For another, their aged ability in every aspects, both mentally and physically, has no guarantee of accepting new techniques. Thus, they put all their hope as well as aspirations which cannot be completed by them on their children. When they have only one child, this kids bears more. Also, because of impatience, they spend no time on their kids to share their hope and reasons. What they do is push, push and push.

 

However, as for those who want to communicate, the problem is how to convey their hope and aspirations. Most parents fail to complete this mission, especially mothers. In the fiction The Joy Luck Club, June’s mother passed on her idea by pushing June to play the piano and stimulating her by other children from TV or the relatives（Amy Tan, “The Joy Luck Club”）. She never directly spoke to June, even after June’s unsuccessful show, it was the silence that saturated the whole fiction and nothing more. Especially when the character in this fiction was a Chinese lady, expression and communication seemed difficult and uncomfortable for her. The only thing she can accept was pushing again and waiting her daughter’s resistance. June, as a normal kid, had her own idea and pursuit. She was tired to repeating practice and her mother’s silence and strictness. However, her parents did not teach her to communicate, so when she wanted to rebel, she cannot find the right way. Words from her mouth is hurting and disappointing. Moreover, she asked for freedom and did not understand her mother, her thoughts and hope and disappointment. All these pities stem from lack of communication.

 

Compared with mothers, fathers hold a relatively different attitudes towards communications. Even though silence still exists in their normal lives, fathers almost act with violence and indifference full of love or hatred (Russell C. Leong). They express, but through the way of violence and cruelty. Unfortunately, kids are good at mimicking, and they do what parents do. Moreover, they pass on this to next generation.

 

Russell C. Leong, a fourth-generation Chinese-American, writes many fictions and poems. And in his essay one will realize his strange relationships with his father: even though he described his father in this essay several times, he did know him clearly. It seemed that there was no sentiments between them. All one can read is gesture and action but complexion and words. However, this should not be strange, because nowadays, loads of fathers cannot find the right way to transmit their emotions and fail to communicate. They want to say something, but cannot find the way. In China, the image of father is usually similarly equivalent to power, stubborn and indifference. They never talk, smile and say words which can warm or comfort kids’ hearts. What’s more, they may hurt their kids when they drunk or were in a dim mood. This situation is also frequent in other countries. Leong described his father in the essay “My father’s hands were always busy preparing food and paper…stern and placid”（Leong）. We can see that his father barely talked to him, even though he supported this family, but the kid cannot feel the love and warmth. Absurdly, this lack of communication can be understood by people, especially those in China. Fathers always feel indifferent and violent towards kids and families for they are under much greater pressure than wives and kids. First, their bitterness from a disappointing life and burdens, not the kids. People can hardly describe it, because they are vague and inevitable. Second, as males, their personalities, such as tough and firm, do not permit them to show fragile and therefore, they deny communication, for it is the most apparent way to show fragile and cowardice.

 

Children, the most innocent role in this play, are taught by their parents and influenced also. When they are too young to have their own dreams and hope, they can only listen to their parents, to accept their requests. However, the lack of communication results in failures of understanding why they have to pursue the dream and why their parents are eager to this stuff. When they are older, they are asking for freedom. They want to reject, but their parents had no aware of effective communication to teach their children, thus, children themselves have no idea about communication. All they can do is to mimic, so they do what they saw. Silence, violence and quarrel, fight, things saturating their life are their teachers. The no-talk circulation between parents and children leads to less communication and understanding. Leong thought it is bad to be a son and may revenge when he gets older (Leong). What he mentioned and focused was exactly the result of less communication. A family where people do not talk as well as communicate and they do not know the thoughts of each other which is harmful to the development of kids.

 

It is clear that based on different culture, communications play different roles. What we discuss in this paper is Chinese-American. That is to say, parents are from China and kids are bringing up in America. Therefore, clashes between two countries as well as two cultures happened. In China, obedience is always stressed. The words of Amy’s fiction reveals it: two kinds. The obedient one and those follow their minds. The obedient ones refer to kids follow their parents’ minds and could not say no, what’s more, they had no idea of resistance. They did not understand why they have to, but they do what their parents want. Another kind kids, full of self and resistance, are willing to reject their parents and go the opposite way against parents. Both of the two kinds of kids are common but unsuccessful. And they will extend this mode of breeding to next generation, to form severer harm.

 

What if parents communicate with their kids more. Asking what kind of color they like and whether they want to eat cereal in the morning. Asking what they like to do in their spare time, if sleeping and watching TV are their choices, why not tell them the benefits of outdoor activities and the harm of staying inside? Informing kids of their parents’ dreams and hope which cannot be realized when they were young and encourage their kids to do whatever they like and have a try on things relating to parents’ dreams. Silence and violence, which result in some pities and sorrows in a family can be avoided if effective communications are launched.

 

Parenting is a life-long topic and family is a key to harmonious society. In society, the rate of divorce, the rate of juvenile crime and the rate of well-being count a lot. For all these, communication is important. A good and efficient communication leads to better understanding and acceptance. Thus, families can be united. Kin loves each other and supports each other. One cannot say quarrels and sorrows will be entirely avoided, but they can be better tackled if happen.

 

 

Works cited

 

Leong, Russell C. “Notes From A Son To His Father” . Greenwood Press. 2007

 

Tan, Amy.“Two Kinds”. The Joy Luck Club. New York: Penguin. 1989  

 

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