Black Silence, hope beneath

    黑色的沉默，希望下  这篇文章告诉我们，渗透着无声的苦难故事。汤亭亭采用 人称的叙述告诉我们的读者因为语言障碍的艰难经历，在异国他乡环境下的生活状态与学习环境，对异国不一样的感受。

                                                                    Black Silence, hope beneath

    As a Chinese student studying here, undoubtedly the essay I have strongest reaction to is Silence by Maxine Hong Kingston. This essay tells us a story infiltrated with mute miseries. Maxine Hong Kingston uses the first-person narrative to tell us readers the tough experience of language barrier she confronts in her childhood in America. She is presented as a silent little girl who keeps only to herself since she had to speak English in her kindergarten. But her behavior and experience in the Chinese school, from 5:00 to 7:30 P.M. forms a sharp contrast to that of her in the American kindergarten. In the Chinese school, she feels safe to say anything she likes and do anything she desires without as many constraints as in the American school where she is engulfed in self-disgust and endless grief. 
    How about Chinese students in America today or students in any foreign country? As one of them, I think I can have a say. Apparently, today’s students are not as silent as Kingston at that time, especially those extraverted students. It is easy for them to make friends and be on good terms with others in a new place. But it is safe to say that the majority of them tend to befriend those from the same culture. And being a part of a new culture is not that easy. Foreign students may feel excluded especially in those places racism and prejudice can be found. Such deep-rooted concepts are truly there though some people may not feel aware of their existence after ceaseless struggles for elimination of racism. I am not saying we Chinese are prejudiced here. But racism is a serious and prevalent problem that is difficult to deal with, which can possibly impact every one across the world. 
    However, hope in this essay can also be witnessed. Teeming with heartbreaks and desperation, this essay also provides us with some slight trace of hope. We know that when asked to do art work in a class, little Kingston covers her painting with thick layers of black paint, for which her parents are called to meet her teacher. Since her parents are incapable of understanding English, they can only tell the seriousness of their daughter’s problem from the teacher’s face. But little Kingston explains this way “I painted layers of black over houses and flowers and suns, and when I drew on the blackboard, I put a layer of chalk on top. I was making a stage curtain, and it was the moment before the curtain parted.”
     It seems that she is telling us that she is awaiting her moment of entrance into a world where she can freely and fluently expresses herself without self-disgust, without shame or fear of being laughed at. Though she is having a really tough time at school, she still hopes for being better and a part of them. Black curtain is silence, a hiding place for her to keep only to herself, to avoid being made jokes about. But still beneath the black curtain is hope to be unveiled. 
    First person narration is used to resonate with the reader to better feel the tough struggle of the writer’s experience, a way to absorb the reader into the essay. Use of contrasting environments makes readers feel, on one hand, Kingston’s insecurity about language, the lesser role women has within their family, and on the other hand, the original innocence and childhood gaiety. Every child is endowed with the right to and capacity for joy. Use of the black curtain as a symbol of unveiled hope suggests Kingston’s longing to be a part of her peers and even part of American culture. She is fed up with being excluded. With all those choices Kingston makes in the story, I think she is trying to give her readers an experience of stinging miseries, tough struggles to learn and grow up. But all those painful experiences are not in vain. We know that Kingston later becomes a very excellent writer, which also contrasts sharply with her early experience in her “mute” childhood. She wants her readers to really feel the pain, but in the mean time, she also gives them hope, as well as a truth that can be stuck to—what does not kill you makes you stronger. 
    In terms of the influence these experiences have on me, I think that I must feel the same with other readers. As an international student, sometimes I may feel I am an outsider in this school, or even in this country. Language barrier, culture shock and loneliness together sometimes prevent me from communicating with others, which in turn strengthens the language barrier, culture shock and my loneliness. But just like Kingston wants us readers to feel, I should also have hope. And at the same time, I should try as best as possible to adjust myself to get used to this culture and one day become a part of it. But still, I also know that I need to focus on my own things and do them in a serious manner. Kingston’s story is sure to have other implications and educational meaning. But it greatly encourages me to reflect on my life and motivates me to find myself a place on matter where I am. 

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